A day in my life at the farm....

It’s been 7 days now (counting..) and about a week earlier that I had to do and currently doing everything as in everything that you can conceive of to run a well-oiled house for the first time in almost three decades of my married life. Before marriage running the house was my parents’ remit. Covid time was an exception and because we were all together in that we all worked and got out unscathed out of those extraordinary times.People do it all the time in the west, we all admire them for doing everything by themselves. Infact this very thought has not only kept me going but also encouraging me to do things happily around the house. Yes you are right I am an upper middle class, privileged woman. I am professionally qualified but pursued my career in accordance with the needs and circumstances of my life giving priority to things that mattered to me more at any given stage of my life. You are also right if you think you don’t want to hear me rant just because I am having to work for a few days or think I feel entitled because I feel the need to talk about it. Your lack of interest in what I have to say is totally justified and yes I think unbeknown to me whether I like it or not entitlement about certain privileges, services and amenities are deeply entrenched or may I say I have always taken them for granted all along thus far. I used to fancy myself someone who could live without anything much but that’s of course not true. I find myself in this situation because I am not living in a city anymore where most of us live in apartments and services, which are quite affordable, are easily available. I now live in a small village, in a big house surrounded by gardens and orchards. Here in the village finding people who would happily work for you is quite a task. It’s not a sign of prosperity in the village unfortunately but a result of a very complex socio-economic milieu in the village. There are a lot of unemployed people of all age group, youth, middle aged and old who need work and are technically available for any kind of a job that pays living wages. It is a separate story and for another time why they don’t work or how they work if they for some reason choose to. Today I want to tell you another story. So sweeping, mopping, dusting, washing and ironing, doing dishes, buying groceries, cleaning the corridors around the house and paths in the garden, putting biodegradable waste in the pit and dry waste in the bin, are some of the many tasks that need to be done on everyday basis. One also has to put food on the table thrice a day apart from making tea or whatever else is required during the course of the day. In these two weeks I have been thinking hard involuntarily while I am also working incessantly on various things to keep my house running “business as usual”. Firstly I am proud of myself that I could keep up and have not let the routine and the rhythm of my house get disrupted dramatically, though it’s been a big ask on my time and on my routine. I don’t read as much as I used to, I don’t write and no research is possible, haven’t been to my gym which in any case was a new found hobby as whenever I find time I need to just lie down read "Mother Mary Comes to me" and feel rested. By the way let me clarify its just my husband and I and we have a big house as stated earlier in an orchard lest you think I am slaving to serve my parents or in-laws or children. I am working only to maintain the life style that we have grown accustomed to. I realise that all these tasks are done unaided everyday by zillions of housewives all across the world and of course also by millions of working women who can’t afford any help. These tasks are unending, repetitive, mundane, mind numbing after a while and thankless. They don’t ever end, women are stuck with these Sisyphean tasks for their entire life. Like Sisyphus could never roll the stone uphill, house chores also don’t ever get finished. Once you are done for the day you have to think, plan and prepare for the next day. Every day house needs to be cleaned, food to be cooked and washing and dishes to be done. Same things to be done till you die…… However Sisyphus like most of these housewives were content with their fate I don’t see myself being like that for too long. I am already looking for breaking this cycle, planning and plotting to save myself from this Sisyphean fate. I am amazed at the resilience, patience, tolerance and tenacity of women who do this all their lives without complaining. I can now say that I understand how time consuming and back breaking these tasks are apart from being monotonous, boring and both physically and mentally exhaustiing. Not that I didn’t know but then I only knew it theoretically and now I am living that life. If you want to do a good job, which most housewives do, there is something always pending, waiting to be done. I always considered these tasks beneath myself and thought that I could use my time better given the education, expertise and experience I have. I always did them with a grudge whenever I had to do the same due to temporary absence of staff. I always thought my time was getting wasted. The other day I was thinking what have I done with my time when I didn’t have to do these mundane tasks. Is there anything that made even a tiny change in the way the world works around me or in general? Could I leave a mark in the area of my expertise or bring about happiness to others or people in the community? Have I been useful to anyone, make anyone’s life better or have contributed in any meaningful and productive manner to the social set up that I am a part of? Will my absence be felt? Will the newspaper call me to write about the latest environmental issue ? Will my voice be missed in the meetings and seminars or in the court? No I don’t think so …it was my ego that made me feel so important and considered all these tasks not worth my time. My absence will not be felt anywhere. I am not even important forget about being indispensable anywhere. Be able to live on daily basis whichever way one chooses to, takes a lot of effort. Each one of us should have this experience to understand what all does it take to make the life we live without ever thinking about things that are readily available to us. To be honest I find this harder than the arguments I do in the courts, tougher than the work that one has to do to write respectable articles, more time consuming and strenuous than my legal policy research and last but not the least more thankless and more unproductive than the policy advocacy that I do. Might as well go with the flow and live life happily the way it meets you.