You are responsible for what you are and what you become

It was an absolutely amazing cab ride and definitely one of the most memorable one for me when I took one yesterday to visit a friend who was visiting from out of town.  Yes, for me most cab rides are memorable, as I look forward to talking to the cab drivers about their lives, the state of affairs in our country, politics if they are interested in or anything that interest them.  Some of them turn out to be taciturn, but I have over the years got an interesting insight in to the complexity of our country’s politics from the perspective of cab drivers (I also grab any opportunity I get…. to get talking to just anybody anywhere…worth talking to). I see cab rides as an amazing opportunity to peep in to the lives of people who drive us. In the process I also get to know about their hardships, their trials and tribulations and their triumphs. I get to hear stories of human grit, hard work, their wives, parents, home town and children. Several times we become good friends and I take down their cell no.

This particular cab driver was unmistakably a blue blooded Pahari. The moment we spoke to him over the phone while we were booking the cab, we realized from the very distinct pahari tonality of his manner of speaking that he has to be from the hills, home for me and my husband. All the Paharis out there I am sure would understand what I mean. Somehow most of Paharis can’t get rid of their particular way of speaking and it comes through even when they are talking in French ( just kidding) leave aside English. Though I was almost sure that he was a Pahari, I confirmed it as soon as I made myself comfortable in the cab. I must admit I have a natural affinity towards all Paharis (right from Himalayas to Vindhyas and from Alps to Rockies….) irrespective of caste, creed, gender and class. The gentleman confirmed with a pride that I am so very familiar with that he was a Pahari and when I told him I too belonged to the hills there was no stopping us and we talked as if we were two long lost friends. He told me his life story which was like a Bollywood script and also about his present life and children.

Before I share about his current life and his family I want to briefly narrate his life story. This gentleman had come to Delhi when he was all of fourteen years, in the year 1977 with Rs 5 in his pocket and some clothes in his bag. He had flunked his class 9 exam in his village school and his parents didn’t readily have money or will to get his papers re-evaluated. He was at a cross-roads in life and didn’t know what to do with himself. He could not see any future for himself in the village but was clear that he wanted to do something in life. His restless adolescent mind made him do the unthinkable…he ran away from home to come to a big city, as if that would be the end of his miseries and as if the big city was awaiting him with open arms and a solution for all his problems. After walking some 10-15 kilometres out of his village he boarded a bus which after an overnight journey got him to Old Delhi.

He stared out as a child labourer in a dhaba in Old Delhi where he was hired for Rs 60 a month for doing the dishes through the day and well into the night.  His joy knew no bounds as he had landed himself a job almost as soon as had arrived in the city. He knew this was not his destiny but was just a stop gap arrangement. At that age also he had the clarity that he could only take a step at a time to move ahead in life and must not flinch from taking even the smallest step as long as it took him ahead. Whenever life offered him an opportunity he grabbed that with both hands and continued to move ahead in life slowly but surely. After having heard his story in minutest detail it would not be wrong for me to say that he always proactively worked towards creating opportunities for himself rather than waiting for life to offer him the same.  The next 25 years of his life is a story of a clear thought process, amazing perseverance, grit, determination, focus, hard work, as a result of which he inched closer towards what he was dreaming and aiming for. After riding cycle rickshaws,  auto rickshaws, working in halwai shops, selling chola bhaturas then as a taxi driver, by the year 2001 he had saved enough money to buy his own second hand car and he became a proud taxi owner/driver. It’s been 15 years since he has been a cab driver and today he works with a big radio taxi company and owns a brand new Volkswagen Vento. He has come a really long way from earning Rs 60 to Rs 40,000!

Now comes the most inspiring part of the story. He has two kids, a daughter and a son. His daughter is a graduate from Jesus and Mary College and along with pursuing her college degree she also did a three year computer programming diploma from NIIT. He thought she would not be able to deal with the pressure from both college and NIIT so advised her to first focus on college and thereafter do the NIIT diploma but she was after all his daughter and insisted upon doing both together to save time. He had bought her a scooty after he was convinced about his daughter’s determination, to cut down on her travel time between home, college and NIIT. This girl according to her father would wake up at 5 in the morning every day, study and help her mother with household chores before she would leave for her college. In the afternoon she would go to NIIT and it would be dark before she would come back home.  She worked with utmost sincerity and dedication and cleared both the college as well as NIIT exams as per schedule securing good marks. After graduating she cleared her very first job interview and confidently went past four rounds of grilling and is now working with a large BPO company in a posh office in Gurgaon, earning a fairly handsome salary.

I could feel the car filled with pure joy and positive vibes when this guy was talking about his family. He was so proud of his daughter’s achievement, and rightly so, that he looked like “the happiest person” one can ever imagine. I generally asked about his wife and with obvious affection for his wife in his voice, he told me that he was very lucky to have got the wife that he has. She has to be a great woman if her husband in her absence could talk about her so fondly and straight from his heart. He offered me if I wished to speak with her, which despite temptation (as I wanted to know the recipe to make husbands head over heels in love with wives) I declined as I was aware that I should be reaching my destination anytime soon and I didn’t want to leave the story halfway. According to him he could not have asked for more as far as his wife was concerned who has always been a pillar of strength in his life. She could always run the house very well with whatever he got and takes great care of him and his children.  He works outside the house and she works inside and also takes care of the finances of the family. As if just to prove his point his phone at that very moment started ringing and since we were at a red traffic signal, he took this call. This sounded like a call from some insurance company who were selling him something and he promptly directed them to his wife saying she takes the investment decisions in the family so please talk to her. I actually could not believe my ears … I thought I was talking to a man who was semi-literate, a  taxi driver  but whose wisdom and clarity of thought was much much beyond what his economic, social and educational background could allow to be attributed to him. I obviously learnt a very important lesson and in future would not slot people to be of a particular mindset due to their educational, social or economic background.

His son is currently taking class 12 board exams and aspires to pursue a hotel management degree from either Oberoi or Maurya group’s college. That child, I was told, is a natural cook. He apparently has a god-gifted talent which is visible even when he is cutting vegetables, which he does with machine like speed and an artist like finesse, or when he cooks all kind of delicacies that he reads about or finds on the internet. The proud father has a desktop complete with an internet connection for him at home and had invested INR 18000 last year to buy an oven for his son so that he could live his dream. He according to the father is a very bright student and the father was determined to go to through any pain to help his son realize his dream. I am sure that together they will.

The driver also told me, “Madam, I have been working for about 40 years but must not have rested for more than 40 hours in all”. He was not complaining, he was trying to tell me that he has worked very hard in life and as a reward God had been very kind to have given him the family that he has. He told me about his yearly family holiday also. He fills the tank of his cab and takes his family once a year for a vacation and has taken them to Jaipur, Agra, Mathura, Haridwar, Rishikesh etc. They live in dhramshalas and eat at dhabas and have a blast together.

He showed me several letters of recommendations that people have sent to his taxi service company and has kept a very impressive folio of these in the form of letters, photos and email print outs.

I had completely forgotten about my destination as I was so engrossed in his awe inspiring story and I was brought down to the present when  my husband called me to ask why I had not reached as yet.

This journey was an eye opening experience….I felt a kind of happiness that I had seldom experienced before. This happiness was getting exuded from this guy who was so proud to be who he was and who took this amazing pride in his work. This happiness had enveloped the entire atmosphere inside that cab and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face while I was in the company of that gentleman listening to his story. His contentment was palpable, I really could feel and see it coming out of his each pore and his gratitude to almighty was written all over him.

It was an absolutely amazing experience…I had just met a man who didn’t have any complaint against anybody, who seemed genuinely happy (I felt it and basked in the glory of that happiness for 45 minutes, believe me you it was surreal) contended and grateful, who believed that one has to work hard and if one honestly does that, then all is well. I wish all the very best to him and his family. I will pray to almighty that his son should be able to realize his dreams and grow up to become a delightful human being like his father.

I am sure some of his qualities have rubbed off on to me………I complain much less than before. Now i don't complain all the time i just complain most of the time.....