After a really long break from blogging hopefully i should find motivation to reflect upon issues that are of relevance to me as a mother, citizen and of course as a human being, again hopefully an adequately responsible one. I think it is very evident that this break has made me a little unsure of myself....will talk about it later. Mother because that's the role i am almost obsessed with these days in my life. I want to reclaim my lost relevance, i have actually changed the course of my life because i wanted to be in the driving seat, firmly, as far as my role as a mother was concerned, which had taken a very back seat in my life because of various other commitments..... Am finding it really tough to get back where i had left as the kids have moved on. They are much older and since they are my kids, am not surprised, are very stubborn and have a mind of their own. Though i will of course expect someone else also to please come forward and share responsibility for their stubbornness and fiercely independent streak. I think its difficult for them to accept me after all these years, that too coming back with a vengeance to reclaim the authority what was once indisputably mine. It is of course difficult for anybody to concede what belongs to them especially when it happens to be their freedom, unmonitored freedom to take important decisions and also not to take them at all irrespective of their importance. Nonetheless i am here to stay and working towards regaining my lost glory or at least some of it. I have, it seems, lost relevance for my kids due to my mental absence from their lives these past few years. It looks like a lot of hard work convincing them that i can be of help to them and be useful in whatever they are trying to do and not a hindrance or an unnecessary stumbling block prone to asking too many questions. I am trying very hard to sell myself to them , trying to make myself relevant to them. I hope i have some good news to share on this front soon.