Rising (sic) Standards for raising kids

Raising kids is not an easy task....everyone seems to say that. I was wondering the other day as to what has changed so drastically over the years that all of us are almost unanimously echoing the same sentiment and are intimidated by the sheer thought of raising kids. I cant recall my mother losing her sleep over us not doing our school work well or not playing well or not eating well or anything for that matter. She would deal with everything with a very cool head and if something was beyond her she would escalate it to my father and if that too didn't work they would let it go. Yeah they would LET IT GO....reposing their faith in us that in due course we will be able to see the logic and make course correction. Wow i must say they were a confident lot, chilled out and had unshakable faith in what they called their sanskaars. My parents would make their point very clear but if we were not amenable they would not make their or our lives miserable. My mother could actually move on...she can move on even now...and has a terrific temperament. She doesn't worry unnecessarily over things she does not have control over but it was clearly a recessive gene. I never felt any pressure but must admit that somehow had that inbuilt filter which i believe led most of us, the kids of that generation do things by and large, the way, our parents would have wanted us to, at least in the bigger and larger issues of life. I suffer from performance anxiety as a parent. I am dogged perennially with doubts about everything we do for them or don't do for them or are we doing the right thing or doing in adequate amount...hope we are not complicit in making wrong choices with them, are only some of the many doubts that refuse to leave me. I am bothered about what they eat, how they eat, how they talk, how they walk, how they sleep....etc etc....meaning just about everything about them. Poor guys ...is this my concern for them or is this something about me that needs to be taken seriously???I cant stop myself from worrying which by the way has become my most favoured hobby. The other day a very dear college friend was over and we were catching up in the real sense of the word may be after a decade. She was bewildered to see the new me.....she couldn't believe me getting so frazzled and be bothered about every small little detail about my kids. I am actually acutely aware of the potential that I have, to become a nuisance in my kids lives (hope I am not already one) and try my level best to keep away at least from a part of their lives. It is a tough call, in the past few months that i am trying to figure out the ways in which i can make myself useful for my kids (i know its very ambitious...but that's how i am, cant help it) and am trying to give almost all my time (whatever is left after sleeping, yapping with friends and just lazing around) i suspect i fail on daily basis. Phew... i thought being at home and being a stay at home mom was a cake walk.....and that too to two boys, one a full fledged teenager and the other almost there.....